Thursday 7 June 2012

Thirty Seven Today

I am 37 years old today!

SubhanAllah! Alhamdulillah! This morning I woke up and recited 'waking up' du'a with so much kesyukuran-gratefulness. That I am still breathing. Thank you Allah for all your blessings. Then when I was about to switch my alarm off from my phone, I saw so many notifications, that friends have posted on my fb timeline, messages including  texts and WhatsApp.

It's my birthday after all. Yes, I am 37 today. 

My du'a is that Allah make me steadfast and grant me patience, that I will be a solehah wife, daughter and mother.




Self Reflection/Muhasabah

Just yesterday, during our 'Sembang Ilmu' -  as our usrah circle is called , we were covering the topic of Qadha and Qada'. As we reached the part where our ajal, rizqi have been decided, my eyes became wet. Suddenly, I felt ashamed because here I am feeling happy since beginning of this week, as my birthday is approaching. It hit me that we tend to forget that we may be called to leave this dunya when our time comes. And we don't even know when. How sure am I that I will live to see my 37th birthday? A surge of panic passed through my body like an electric wave. I am not ready Ya Allah! 

So of course waking up this morning was so special and I am most grateful to Allah swt for giving me another day. Thank you for all the blessings bestowed upon me and my family.


If you would count up the favors of Allah, never would you be able to number them: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Al-Nahl, 18)



Again, time to reflect on what I have achieved so far, having lived in this world for thirty seven years. You can't count the blessings from Allah but we can surely reflect on what we have done in this world. My mistakes, my sins, and my contributions? What have I done for Islam? Still a long way to go as I've achieved little in regard to my deen. I am contemplating whether I should record  my resolutions here, but for now I will keep to myself what I've set. 

Study the deen is the keyword, but so much to do but with little time. 
(Tick Tock, Tick Tock, time is running out!) 

Pleasing Allah will be the objective of my actions in order to  


Make Jannahtul Firdaus my final destination.


( I realize that my ibadah has yet to reach the quality that makes me qualify for Jannahtul Firdaus but I like to make this as my objective, as a strong motivational goal, so that every time I find myself feeling a bit lazy this objective will surely get me going.) 

Now putting all this into plans and actions will be my things to do this weekend. Again, make me steadfast, Ya Allah!


Always, always remember that maut will come to us when our time is due. Allah has set this and there is no way anyone can stop from answering this final call from Allah. Make this as an important reminder to us. I will find time to post something on maut itself in the future. 


And always thank Allah for giving us another day, and this is well covered in the du'a that we recite every time we get up from bed. 




Trying out new stuff at this ripe age

Today also marks a new beginning for me.  


It was my first lesson in horse riding. A dream come true. 
I've been fascinated by horses ever since I was small but back then horse riding lessons were too expensive. 

I read in Solusi magazine that one who spends his time learning to ride a horse will get reward-'pahala' for the time and efforts he puts in it. It's sunnah by the way. So I enrolled my kids and myself into horse riding lessons. After a year of being on the wait list, my kids got their lessons but they accidently overlooked mine. I did not mind at all because deep down I felt a little afraid. Well, it must be the age factor to feel a little bit worried. Two months of chauffeuring them to lessons, and seeing how they enjoyed the lessons so much made me follow up on my request. 

I had second thoughts again this morning. Will I be able to do this as this age? My initial reaction upon mounting the horse was 'oh,oh gayat'. But once the horse started to walk and then did the race trot, it was okay. I got in rhythm with the horse's movement and the whole experience was exhilarating.

Not bad, I now look forward  to future classes. 

At least, I found one sports activity in my aim to strike a balance - Islam, family and self. What better way to satisfy yourself and gain reward  as well.  

Nina

p/s : Islam is not just a religion it's a way of life. What I've categorized as Islam above is actually on my contribution to my seen i.e. normally I'd plan my day with doing work- for my kids, self and under the category of Islam it would be for example: helping a neighbour, visiting a sick friend. Always niat to do anything for Allah even when doing housework, stuff for your kids and even horse riding to order to get reward from Allah swt. 

  

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